Show Us Your Life - Share Your Testimony

If you have come over for a visit via Kelly's Korner blog, Welcome! I sure appreciate this gracious Arkansas gal and how she uses her influence to allow others to share 'good things'! www.kellyskornerblog.com. If this is your first visit to Waiting to be Expecting, I personally welcome you! I pray you will find inspiration, whether it be through a picture or a story that is posted.

I am no stranger to infertility. I have been walking this barren road for over a decade now. But truly, God has caused me to dance upon this barren land! He has and remains faithful to me, meeting me every step of the way! Through this blog I hope to share my testimony of His goodness, faithfulness and love through the midst of heartache and to encourage you!

About a year ago, God ordered my steps to create an online ministry for those desiring children called Dancing Upon Barren Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment for the Infertility Road, www.dancinguponbarrenland.com. The site consists of Christian resources, infertility etiquette, prayers and a devotional. Yet unfortunately last month the site was severely compromised technically, so it is in repair. I'm praying it will be 'live' again soon! So, I said all that to say, this is the reason for this blog. To have an outlet to reach out to you, the one reading this now!

I hope you'll come and visit again! I pray you'll sense 'community' here, but most of all the love of our Lord Jesus Christ! I have some great things planned for this blog; Monday Morning Prayer, the WORD Works Wednesday and Fertility Fact Friday. So does that entice you to return? (smiles) I sure hope so!

In the meantime, I'll post the first installment to my 'Journey of Faith' on this infertility road! I may be on this barren road, but I will confess to you Sistah, I am on the way to the Promised Land! And so are YOU! So please, don't ever give up and keep the faith!

Yours in Christ,

Lesli

“There’s a Rooster in the Hen House!”

“There’s a Rooster in the Hen House!” interesting you may think, what a funny title for a post about one woman’s spiritual journey through infertility. But, it’s a sure thing! It all began at a ‘Hen House’ meeting, amongst my girlfriends. There was a surprise visitor and it wasn’t just another hen or chick, it was the rooster himself!

Before this particular meeting, I would have days where I asked the infamous questions “What am I here for? “What is my purpose in life?” Most likely you have asked similar questions at one time or another. These questions were couple with such intensity that I would label them ‘crash days’. Nothing or no one could satisfy the deep cavernous ache within. Not realizing that the childhood dream of becoming a mother was buried deep down inside me, only to be unearthed by one simple question.

In December 1997, my husband and I had just moved into our new home. A dream come true! For years my close girlfriends and I would always be involved in some sort of small group Bible study together. Each new study opened our minds and hearts about God and His Kingdom. However, I didn’t know this particular Bible Study would prove to be a turning point in my life. For the most part, we would study the Bible, eat, pray...then eat some more! Our time together afforded the opportunity to try out new recipes, to be filled physically and spiritually.

Over the years we have dubbed ourselves, “THE PeePs”. Of course, a peep is the sound you hear when baby chicks come together, like a bunch of girls coming together. This time around, at my Hen House, on what we consider a cold day in Southeast Texas (sixty degrees), I was leading the Bible Study titled The Mind of Christ, by Henry Blackaby. In one particular chapter there was a question proposed to us: ‘What are the five desires of your heart?’ I proceeded to make my list quickly. After reviewing what I had written I noticed about four out of the five desires were for my husband, only one for me.

In the Bible, God uses His creation to get our attention, just like he used the rooster to crow to indicate to Peter his denial of Christ, a donkey to speak to Balaam and a raven to feed Elijah. For me, figuratively speaking, it was at this Bible Study that the rooster appeared! God Himself! He pecked my heart, not an intended wound, but a light tap. His presence created a tug upon my heart, a strong stirring to begin to pray for the God-intended purpose for my life. Little did I know what was to happen in the coming month.

Now, I write symbolically to portray and give you a visual picture of the setting that I was in, but also, I write in reverence to my Heavenly Father, God. As you will see throughout the forthcoming Devotionals I will express very candidly and openly about my relationship with Christ. He is my friend, I talk to Him as I would my friends, but with a profound respect. I pray that He is your friend too!

My journey down this barren road may be different than yours. In fact, no two journeys’ of infertility are alike. We may not take the same path but our hearts carry the same feelings. There are those feelings of hopelessness, emptiness and a sense of being forgotten. I can say that mine has truly been a journey of faith along a dry, dusty road. Might I add, a very slow, wandering in the wilderness. However, throughout the many miles of the hard road I have traveled, He has stationed Himself along the way for me as the Rock to rest upon and Living Water that is quenching my parched soul and body. He extends His strong arms with nail scarred hands and lifts me to my feet, constantly filling me with joy, for the moment, which gives me strength for what lies ahead.

What about you? How are you making it? Infertility can be extremely difficult! Are you all alone? I know you may feel alone, but you don’t have to be. Let me introduce you to my friend, Jesus Christ, the Savior. The One who is faithful to walk with you and carry you through this barren land.

Colored Dots on a Line

Colored DOTS on a Line

As I write this post, my eyes are misty with tears. One year ago today, I lost my precious sister-in-law and friend, Dana to breast cancer. Needless to say, it wasn’t easy and at times, still isn’t. No loss, no death is ever easy. We all are a very close, God-fearing family, having love for one another and our faith in God has and still carries us. Personally, it gives me the reassurance that I’ll meet her again on her “Little House on the Prairie” in heaven.

After her passing, my brother-in-law, Wes, (my husband’s older brother) would write. At the time, I believe writing was his therapy and a way of relaying sweet memories of his beloved wife of 27 years. And…I think it sent an inadvertent message to others, letting them know God was helping him through and that he was going to be alright.

When I read his note titled, “Colored Dots on a Line”, I was touched. Then I thought how appropriate his attitude or outlook would be for any of us, whether we have faced loss or are in the ongoing, raging battle of infertility. So, I asked him if some day if I could use what he wrote. And he said, “Sure, you can use anything I’ve written to help others.” I’ve taken excerpts from his words. Even though I italicized some of his words, I cannot make enough emphasis about them. Let these words of insight that have flowed from his heart, touch yours.

As I began to write this post I could’ve easily added a picture of Dana and I. There are a pile of them within arm’s reach on my credenza. I leave them there purposely to remember. I pick up them up from time to time. I smile when I see her standing next to me as my matron of honor on my wedding day and think “what a trooper!” She has just given birth to her second child three weeks earlier. I laugh as I look at the picture of us in Cabos San Lucas on the Baja beach…in our bikinis, donning mask and snorkels, with skinny thighs! So many memories made on family trips. I tear up as I gaze at the last picture of us taken together at our in-law’s 50^th wedding celebration. We’re arm and arm, cheek to cheek. Remembering vividly as the photographer was snapping the picture, we were telling one another that we loved each other.

But instead of a picture of her and I, I give you these Colored Dots in a Line.

The brightly colored dots connecting into a beautiful rainbow, bright and fresh so like Dana! Her smile was plentiful, her nature pleasant and beautiful, her life bright and fresh always for others!

Colored Dots on a Line by Wes Westfall.

Life is a finite measure on a timeline that stretches from infinity past to infinity future. Your first birthday was a dot on that line that in most cases was a joyful occasion for your parents and others. The events of your life are marked on that timeline, and your final day is a mark on that timeline, all with dots.

There will always be situations we’re put in that are not lovely and happy, but as someone close to me said, “We can take these events and let them make us bitter or better.”

I’ve come to realize as I reflect on the life I had with my Dana, there were hundreds of dots painted with bright and cheerful colors, marking a happy and pleasant events in our lives. There were very few that were dark and gray, and none so black as the final mark on my timeline concerning her.

So this idea of dots on a timeline began to bounce around in my imagination, and this is what I’ve come up with to help myself.

We had a few unpleasant dots we chose to make into learning points. These learning points helped to improve our ‘future dots’, so to speak. With Dana’s appointed time finished here on earth, I have realized it truly is our choice as to how we paint our dots. I can make a conscience choice to make a dot and I can make a choice to make it bright or dark. This simple concept, if considered, can bring a fullness and happiness that is so rewarding. Just as I believe, I was created for His pleasure, I also believe my happiness brings Him pleasure. Dots can be turning points that send you on a new path, but always on your allotted line.

If I can learn to accept that I have a DOT right here and all I have to do is act, then I can place them wherever I want and paint them as would please my God. Of course it’s gonna require extra effort from time to time…

The only thing of value we leave is the memories we leave with our loved ones, then it would make sense to place those dots everywhere you can and paint them bright enough to be seen by everyone that happens to glance your way.

Please choose, from this point, to attempt to place your dots deliberately and to paint them as brightly as possible. The folks you touch will thank you one day and on that final DOT the Lord will say, “Well done thy good and faithful servant.”

Celebrate!

This past weekend was fun! We celebrated my father-in-law’s birthday! I love having people over, cooking and entertaining, especially when it’s my family. There was an abundance of silly-ness, good conversation and food, including homemade sopaipillas! But this past weekend’s activities reminded me of what I purposed to do at the start of 2010…

…To celebrate!

The year 2009 is a year I would soon wish to forget. That year brought me the ‘not so good news’ from the fertility experts (however, I am still standing on God’s Word), I joined the roller coaster ride of a family member having a debilitating disease and lost a young, close family member to a terminal illness. Needless to say, the year 2009 was a year that I kicked hard ‘in the can’ right out the door!

So I was determined for the year 2010 to become more aware and note ‘the celebrations’ of this coming year. I’m not talking about the parties that I would give or attend, I am talking about making a purposed effort to recognize the little and the big celebrations God would bring my way; His goodness. So I began to write these as Notes on my Facebook page… yet I couldn’t keep up! Truly his blessings overtake us. As the Bible says in Psalms 68:19, “Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads us with benefits, the God of our salvation.” I believe when one has a determined effort to look for the good in their day, one sees God is right there giving out the goodness in abundance.

Ok, I know I am rambling here(smiles). From this past weekend’s celebration it reminded me of this one Note in particular I would like to share with you. It is about my friend, Lacey Moses, who attended the H.O.P.E. Christian Infertility Support Group at Lakewood Church. See her and her son Isaac in the picture above.

I believe her story will encourage you!

Today, make a purposed effort to look for God’s goodness and celebrate the little and big things all around you.

Celebration 2010, #2 – Answered Prayer

I held answered prayer.

A newborn. Isaac Michael Moses, son of Lacey and Michael Moses born Monday, January 4th.

There is nothing like answered prayer after a long, hard barren road of infertility. It’s one thing to hear about a prayer being answered, yet there is so much more when you can hold answered prayer.

I’ve come to know Lacey quite well as she has attended the H.O.P.E. Christian Infertility Support Group at Lakewood Church. However, H.O.P.E. wasn’t our first encounter, it was service to a non-profit organization that brought us together.

I had just been hired, a manager in training at the Ronald McDonald House at Texas Children’s Hospital, Lacey a volunteer in training. As we were working and learning together I asked her, “So, how did you hear about Ronald McDonald House?” She said “Through my church.” I said, “Oh, what church do you attend?” She replied “Lakewood.” I said, “I do too.” Then we talked non-stop. She told me she was from Michigan, (I forgave her right then). She talked about how she had a friend that she was deeply concerned about who had multiple miscarriages. To make a long story short, I told her about my leading H.O.P.E. at Lakewood and gave her a suggested book for her friend. Never knowing, that one day she would be the recipient of the encouragement provided through the support group.

Today, my celebration is two-fold. Not only do I celebrate the birth of their son, ‘answered prayer’. I celebrate Lacey! She has endured the last several years with grace and dealt with issues with such respect and honor, even in the most of heartbreaking times. She is stellar! I’ve learned much by observing her! She’s a fine example to other women!

So as I looked into Baby Isaac’s bright eyes, I celebrated that fact that God is the Giver of pure and perfect gifts. I rejoiced as I was reassured God hears AND He answers! He can make dreams come true and fulfill a desire of the heart! He is the eternal, Faithful One!

….Ain’t nothing like holding answered prayer.

A Christian Support Group is vital as you are dealing with infertility. I encourage you to join one. If you live within the Houston, Texas area I personally invite you join us at H.O.P.E., meets the 1^st Thursday of every month at 7 p.m. at Lakewood Church. The next meeting is August 5^th, hope@lakewood.cc for more info.

If you live in another city/state check out www.bethany.org. Go to their site and click on Other Services, then Infertility Ministry, then Support Groups. There you’ll find a listing of Christian support group by states. If your state doesn’t have one, consider starting one!

The Attitude of the Three Hairs

"A woman wakes up and discovers she has only three hairs left, and she says, "Great, I'll braid them!" The second morning, she wakes up and sees that she has only two hairs, and says, "Fantastic, I love a middle part!" The third day, she wakes up and sees that she has only one hair. So she smiles and says, "I look great with a ponytail!" The fourth day, she wakes up and laughs at her hairless head, saying, "I can sleep a few extra minutes, because I don't have to do my hair!"

And the moral of the story is that we should all be thankful for baldness.

from Navigating the Land of IF - Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options, Melissa Ford.

I like how she took whatever situation she was in and spoke a positive word. As each morning presented a different circumstance with her hair, she was innovative in her outlook. She was creative in figuring out how she was going to deal with it, and was joyful about it!

So, what can you take away from this story today?

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:18

The End...I Promise!

I’m in Beth Moore’s Summer Siesta’s Bible Study along with my close girlfriends. However, I call them PeeP’s instead of Siesta’s. Any of you out there doing the study as well? We’re digging into Kelly Minter’s book, Ruth: Love, Loss & Legacy. A great, easy study on the book of Ruth filled with yummy recipes too! www.kellyminter.com.

If you’ve not read the book of Ruth, I encourage you to do so! A beautiful story of love and redemption, plus it is only four chapters long! The lives of Naomi, the mother-in-law, Ruth, the daughter-in-law who was married to Naomi’s deceased son and Boaz, the next of kin to Naomi intertwine and sketch a type and shadow of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Kinsman-Redeemer. The story unfolds where Naomi, sets up Ruth with Boaz, her nearest ‘kinfolk’ for the prospect of a new husband. Yet with Boaz’ noble character, instead of just going ahead and marrying Ruth, he seeks out the ‘first in line’ kinsman-redeemer before he considers taking Ruth’s hand. In the meantime, Naomi says to Ruth, “Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled.” Ruth 3:18.

Ugg, the lovely word, “Wait”!

What I read next in our lesson struck me. Kelly, the author writes while on a mission trip to the Amazon river, “While I was on a boat in Brazil, I remember John Paculabo, say something that will stay with me forever. ‘The people here know how to wait. They wait for clean water. They wait for food. They wait for the floods to recede.’ They don’t resent it. They don’t see it as something to rush or dread. Instead, their waiting consists of hopeful endurance secured by a promise they know that is on the way.”

Wow! How would our outlook be or how would we react if we were told, “The end is near…I promise!” Or lets’ get personal here, what if someone said to us, “Your infertility journey has ended, you have a positive pregnancy test!” Or you get a call stating, “The birth mother accepted you as parents to her unborn child.” Whatever your situation, how would we react knowing the wait was over, the desired result at hand?

As Kelly said, “Instead, their waiting consists of hopeful endurance secured by a promise they know that is on the way.” I believe God wants us to view the road ahead of us, to be watchful in our waiting, enduring the path with a security in each step. The security in resting in the promises in His Word. I am reminded of the scripture, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

Today, envision the end is near! Not only is His promise on its’ way, but His promises are near to us now! Here are a few for us today:

• · He will never leave us or forsake us Joshua 1:5
• · He will perfect that which concerns you Psalm 138:8
• · He causes all things to work together for our good Romans 8:28
• · He will do above what we ask or think Ephesians 3:20

The end...I promise!

Here are my PeeP's! More about these gals later! Each have an integral part in my life. They have picked me up out of the deep cracks of this barren land! I love them so!

Waiting to be Expecting: A Future Site

Waiting to be Expecting: A Future Site: "Howdy there! I'm not sure what brought you to this blog today; maybe you're having infertility issues, waiting to adopt, suffering through..."

A Future Site

Howdy there! I'm not sure what brought you to this blog today; maybe you're having infertility issues, waiting to adopt, suffering through multiple miscarriages or a loss, or you're just plain...waiting. Whatever the case may be I'm believing you'll be encouraged, but mostly, that you will not feel all alone. In sharing my testimony throughout future posts, how God has faithfully met me on this infertility road, it is my hope that you will find a fellow sojourner as you travel the road to motherhood!

I love to enourage others through writing, however, I am a novice, so bare with me! I love to share inspirational pictures, (like this one) however, I am a novice at photography too! But through it all, there is the desire of my heart for you to experience the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and for your love for Him to grow! Even in this seemingly forsaken barren land.

I'm no stranger to infertility, for over ten years now I've experienced its' emotional and psychological effects, i.e. heartache. Just as you probably have. Like I mentioned earlier though God has been right there with me. I LOVE to tell what He is done and is doing for me!

Seeing the words on this construction barrier down at the Texas Medical Center, for a newly built hospital reminded me of Luke 1:37, "Nothing shall be impossible with God!" I believe you and I are 'Future Sites for Miracles', His creative miracle working power working in us!

I am praying for you today!

In Him,

Lesli