Monday Morning Prayer

Tears.

Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks, and splash on the floor of our hearts. They were there that day. They are always present at such times. They should be; that’s their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop and pour from the corner of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair.

The principle is simple; when the words are most empty, tears are most apt.

From No Wonder They Call Him Savior, Max Lucado.

Prayer:

“Give me the courage to cry.
Help me to understand that tears bring
freshly washed color arching across the soul,
colors that wouldn’t be there apart from the rain.

Help me to see in the prism of my tears,
something of the secret of who I am.

Give me the courage
not only to see what those tears are revealing
but to follow where they are leading.

And help me to see,
somewhere over the rainbow,
that where they are leading me home.”

Amen.

From Windows of the Soul, Ken Gire.

These words, eloquently written express the essence of our tears. If you’ve been on the infertility journey for any amount of time, I’m sure you’ve expressed some tears yourself. I know that I have. What I love about our Everlasting Father is He sees these tears and He says He puts our tears in a bottle, Psalm 56:8. I think He has many bottles with my name on them!

What I LOVE even more about our God is this…

“O people in Zion, inhabitant in Jerusalem, you will weep no longer. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it. He will answer you.”
Isaiah 30:19

Beloved child of God, be encouraged today! He is nearer than the very breath you breathe, with tissue He dries your eyes and with His voice He quiets your soul.

Fertility Facts

My hopes were to start posting “Fertility Fact Friday” but my energy, focus and time has been elsewhere, tending to the needs of my parents. I guess it does not matter when you blog something, right?

Do you like the picture? I just love it! I go ‘gaga’ over birds, nests and eggs! I love how the man and woman’s are hands are cupped together, the eggs laying softly in them. Reminding me, when we open our hands up to God, He freely gives!

One of my favorite scriptures is “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6. I believe we are to be armed, not only with the Word of God, but the knowledge of others through resources to help us along the fertility journey. Gaining facts on how God designed our bodies, what are the different fertility diagnostic tests and treatments performed, allows us to make informed, ethical decisions. Most importantly, these facts along with prayer, gives us peace for the next step.

For more resources including books, support organizations and movies go to www.dancinguponbarrenland.com/resources.html. If you have a resource not listed on the site and would like to share, post it in the comment section below for others to see!

Thanks for visiting! Please pass this blog onto others who might benefit from it, thanks!

Fruitfully yours,

Lesli

Fertility Facts:

• If you are not able to conceive within 1 year of active intercourse below age 35, see a specialist. If over age 35 and not able to conceive after 6 months of active intercourse, see a specialist.
• Your gynecologist only has about 6 months of infertility rotation in medical school. So that is why it is important to see a specialist for your fertility needs.
• A Fertility Specialist is called a Reproductive Endocrinologist Doctor.

Support Organization
Christian Medical and Dental Association. www.cmdahome.org a listing of Christian doctors and dentists.

Last Monday Morning’s Prayer topic was grief. I’ve listed some of my favorite resources here.

Miscarriage/Stillbirth/Grief
Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright, B&H Publishers, 2004. A pocketbook to aid those through the five stages of grief. (I highly recommend this booklet!)

Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Kathe Wunnenberg, Zondervan 2001. A Devotional companion for comfort in the loss of your unborn or newly born child. (Great gift for someone who has experienced loss).

When Love and Sorrow Embrace: the Sufficiency of God’s Grace through the Heartache of Miscarriage, Beth Forbus, Xulon Press, 2006. (A valuable resource for a support group).

Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death (M.E.N.D.) A Christian Outreach to those who have lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. Support Groups, quarterly newsletter and website. www.mend.org.

Sarah’s Laughter
Online support, as well as infertility seminars, provides memorial services for miscarriages/stillbirth. www.sarahs-laughter.com (My friend, Beth Forbus heads this organization. I invited her to our support group to conduct a memorial service for our ladies, it was powerful and many women were set free from the grief that bound them. I highly recommend having her to speak if you lead a support group.)

Child Loss

www.weloveyoujoel.blogspot.com. My friend, Cindy Morris shares her story through her blog about losing their 3 yr. old son Joel, to Neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer. You'll be encouraged as she openly shares her heart.

Monday Morning Prayer

This morning's prayer topic is grief. Yes, I know, it is not a light-hearted topic for a Monday morning. However, whether your longing for a child, experienced the monthly disappointment of negative pregnancy tests, a miscarriage or stillbirth, or possibly received the final report from the doctor that there is no hope for you to conceive, then grief raises its ugly head!

But I can assure you from my own experience with grief there is One, His name is Jesus Christ, who can lift the burden of grief and mend your broken heart. As the Bible says of Jesus in Isaiah 53:3, "A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

In the next few days I'll be sharing more of my own personal journey. Plus, starting this Friday I'll start posting weekly, Fertility Fact Friday's, offering valuable information and resources to give you some spiritual nourishment while on the infertility road.

If you're experiencing grief, pray this prayer, His Word below. I'm trusting Him you'll be comforted and to know that the God of all comfort loves you today!

Lesli

GRIEF

“Heavenly Father, God of compassion, I praise you that You are the God of all comfort. I ask you to remove this burden of grief from my heart for I believe that You care for me. Thank you that You sent your Son, Jesus Christ, who was acquainted and can identify with my sorrow and grief. I ask You to turn this mourning into joy, and I praise You that joy will be my strength for the days ahead. Thank You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Nehemiah 8:10, Isaiah 53:4 NAS, Isaiah 58:11, II Corinthians 1:3-4

For more resources visit, www.dancinguponbarrenland.com/resources.html.

I'll Be Back!

Howdy!

My apologies for being 'out of the loop' and not posting anything for awhile. My sweet father has been in critical care for two weeks, so my time and energy have been divided. However, I'll be back! So keep checking in! I promise many good things will be coming around on this blog soon!

Until next time...keep expecting as you wait!

Love,

Lesli

Wait

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied.

I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why.

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future, and all to which I can relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me 'wait'?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no', to which I can resign.

"And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking: I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair; defeated and taut

And grumbled to God; "So I'm waiting, for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine

And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,

Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

"All you see I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You'd know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust, just by knowing I'm there.

You'd no know the joy of resting in Me,

When darkness and silence was all you could see.

"You would never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late in the night;

The faith that I give when you walk without sight;

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From and infinite God who makes what you have last.

"And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'

Yes, your dreams for that loved one o'ernight could come true,

But the loss! If you lost what I am doing in you.

"So be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all...is still...wait.

We all have experienced 'waiting' in one form or another; waiting for the light to turn green, waiting in the grocery line, waiting for an answer to prayer, waiting to hold your own bundle of joy. If you are anything like me, you want things, 'Chop! chop! right now!'. But unfortunately infertility doesn't work that way. Conceiving a child is truly out of our control.

Boy, this is an encouraging post, huh?

As I read this poem in the book by Jennifer Saake, Hannah's Hope, it reminded me of what the Lord has done and is doing in my life, while I wait. I believe He is working in you too! We don't understand 'why' the wait? Waz up with that, right? But truly, He is working in us and through us in ways we cannot see or fathom, reminding me of the scripture in Romans.

"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit."

Romans 5:3-5

For some of us, infertility feels like tribulation. Let the poem and its words bring to light what you don't understand as you are waiting. Somehow, let this scripture encourage you while you wait. God is working in us proven character, strength for the journey, hope that launches us into faith and a love for Him and others. As you are waiting, never give up! Keep the faith, my friend!

Praying for you today,

Lesli

Monday Morning Prayer

Monday Morning Prayer

Starting today and every Monday morning I’ll be posting a prayer for the day or week! I’m a firm believer in prayer, believing it helps to build our faith and our communion with God. Feel free to leave your prayer request, whatever it may be, in the comment section below, even if it’s not a request to have children.

However, if you leave a prayer request, make sure you take one…to pray for another person!

Hoping you’ll find a sense of community here! The Lord bless you!

Have a wonderful week!

Lesli

What is prayer? Talking to God from your heart, outwardly or silently, just like you are talking to a friend.

Whether you are dealing with infertility or not, you can recite the prayer below, or read the scriptures and make a personal prayer of your own. However you choose to do it, remember prayer is not a magical formula to get what you want, it’s simply a way of communicating with God.

“…the prayer of righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

Prayer for Disappointment

“Heavenly Father, it seems as if every month brings about disappointment because I pray for a child and nothing happens! I don’t understand why I have to suffer like this! But in your Word You say that I am to rejoice in my sufferings, because it gives me perseverance for the journey ahead, and perseverance brings about better character in me, and character; hope. I praise you for your great love, which has been shed in my heart by your Holy Spirit, which gives me hope that does not disappoint, as I continue to believe in You. Thank you!
In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Romans 5:3-5, I Peter 2:6 NAS

HOPE

Your invited! If you live in Houston, Texas or the surrounding area I'd like to personally invite you to HOPE, a Christian Infertility Support Group meeting this evening! HOPE brings spiritual support to women who are trying to grow their family whether it be through infertility, secondary infertility, multiple miscarriages or failed adoption attempts.

In tonight's meeting we will be continuing the series, Having a Heart of Hope. Through this journey one can feel the gamut of emotions; isolation, disappointment, anger, anxiety, jealousy and grief. Each month we're taking a topic and discussing it in a small group setting. We discover what God's Word says and pray asking for His help. The support group meetings are held the 1st Thursday of the month at 7 p.m. at Lakewood Church. For more info leave a comment or go to hope@lakewood.cc.

We are seeing many miracles through this support group. Women are being set free from the heaviness of the emotional effects of infertility and its' grief! Plus, many babies have been born or adopted! As my friend and faithful volunteer Rhonda says and prays, "Babies are just falling from the sky!" Her comment makes me smile! Isn't that what God would want from us? A child-like faith, to hold our hands up to our Heavenly Father...and just receive?

As a little girl I'm so glad my Dad taught me how to catch!

Posted below is a past lesson presented to our group, from Having a Heart of Hope series, "Behind the Wall of Anger." It's a little lengthy, but praying its' contents will speak to you today.

Ya'll have a good one! The Lord bless you,

Lesli

Having a Heart of HOPE - Behind the Wall of Anger

Proverbs 13:12 “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”

Going through infertility we tend to have a hope sick heart. When dealing with a hope sick heart we go through different psychological emotions/actions. Some common Psychological Emotions/Actions are: Surprise, Denial, Shock, Guilt, Isolation, Anger, Disorganization, and Grief. As we wait for the desires of our heart, God IS AT WORK IN US, GETTING THROUGH TO THE CORE OF US, so we can HAVE A HEART OF PROMISE, BELIEVING IN HIS WORD AND EXPECTATION.

What is the heart? Seat of intentions, thoughts and emotions, our innermost self. Our heart is our dearest treasure.

GOD IS THE ONLY ONE:
“Arise cry aloud in the night, as the beginning of the night watches; Pour out your heart like water, before the presence of the Lord.” Lamentations 2:19 NAS

GOD KNOWS THE HEART:
“For God is greater than our hearts and knows everything.” 1 John 3:20

OUR HEARTS PRESENT CONDITION:

Definition of ANGER: partially inflamed, incensed, enraged, infuriated, irate, provoked, and embittered.

Anger as a Christian can be scary for some and can be the most difficult to accept, yet it is a natural response. Some feel that it is not an appropriate response to pain. So some may feel guilty for even having any anger. Anger is a natural necessary part of the journey through grief, whether the month after month of disappointment thru infertility, failed adoption attempts, or if you have lost a child. Anger is usually the secondary emotion blocking the real cause of pain.

Defintion of Offense: the feeling of displeasure.

WHAT IS BEHIND the Wall of ANGER?

RESENTMENT – towards unplanned pregnancies, those who get abortions or your spouse who has not given you the necessary support that you need. Or you could be mad at women who have had complicated free pregnancies and have given birth to healthy babies.

JEALOUSY/ENVY – towards friends or family members that become pregnant.
“A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”
Proverbs 14:30 KJV

FRUSTRATION/HELPLESSNESS - couples may experience frustration and helplessness when they give their bodies/reproductive systems over to clinicians.

SILENCE – feeling as if God does not hear your hearts’ cry or care about your heart breaking. We often wonder what God is up to. There are no shortcuts through this ordeal. It is hard work to maintain faith in the midst of silence and suffering.

If we allow the above emotions to take root we can be become bitter.

BITTERNESS
If we allow the above emotions to take root we can be become bitter.

RACHAEL AND LEAH, Genesis 30:1-22 (Resentment, Anger)
Hannah and Penninah, 1 Samuel 1 (Jealousy, Rivalry)

BITTERNESS: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

Jesus and John the Baptist: Read, Luke 7:18-23 Amplified
“And blessed is He who is not offended because of me.” Matthew 11:6 KJV

“And blessed (happy--with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, apart from outward conditions--and to be envied) is he who takes no offense in Me and who is not hurt or resentful or annoyed or repelled or made to stumble whatever may occur].” Luke 7:23 Amplified.

ACTION ON OUR PART:

Pray and ask God to search your heart. Write a letter to God about your anger and what’s behind it.

“Rid yourself of all offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit.” Ezekiel 18:31

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” Pr. 4:23

Guard our heart: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

HAVING A HEART OF HOPE

Having a Heart of Hope means having a heart of promise and expectation that comes from Him. It is important to focus on the future, yet also to glance at the past to see what Jesus Christ had done for us through His sacrifice on the Cross. Below are some prayers for you and scripture for memorization or meditation.

ANGER

"Heavenly Father, I feel so angry and frustrated about my fertility challenges. I ask for Your divine love to flow through me, for Your love is patient and kind, and not easily angered. Help me to be slow in my speech and slow in anger when it comes to dealing with my family members, friends or doctor. Help me not to be angry with you God, for all I am going through and with all that I don't understand. Most of all, keep me from sinning against You or any one else in my anger. Thank you, Father for the release from anger within my heart.

In Jesus' name, Amen."

Proverbs 15:18 NAS, I Corinthians 13:4-7, Ephesians 4:26, James 1:19-20

JEALOUSY ENVY

"Heavenly Father, your Word tells me how to love and being envious and jealous is not part of your divine love. Father, I am struggling with envy and jealousy as I see pregnant women and hear of a new baby in someone's life. Help me not to deny Your goodness and Your perfect plan for another as you bless them with children. Teach me not to compare my life with others, to take every negative, envious and jealous thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I ask for Your help to rejoice in the truth with others as I hear of a pregnancy or birth. Thank you for teaching me Your way to love.

In Jesus' name, Amen."

I Corinthians 13:4-7, II Corinthians 10:5, 12

Prayers taken from Dancing Upon Barren Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment from the Infertility Road, www.dancinguponbarrenland.com

Good News!

There is nothing like good news! I am sure all of you would agree with me on that! Yesterday, I received some good news!

Most of you know, but for those of who you don't, last year God led to me to start a website, an online ministry to reach out to those who are suffering with infertility. Last month, 50 days ago, (yes, I am counting) it was severely hacked, totally shut down, annihilated...Gone! I must say, it was a big blow to me.

However, yesterday I received some good news! The problem was resolved and with a few new steps and direction the website will be up soon!

I can't begin to describe the feeling upon hearing the good news. There was such a lifting in my heart, a fresh wind to push me forward, instilling hope in me again. So...it had me thinking...to search for scriptures with the phrase, 'good news'. I'd like to share some of these with you today.

"Bright eyes gladden the heart, good news puts fat on the bones." Proverbs 15:30

(I think I feel a lil' chubby today! ~smiles~)

"Like cold water to a weary soul, so is good news from a distant land." Proverbs 25:25

"How lovely on the mountain are the feet of him who brings good news, who announces peace and brings good news of happiness who announces salvation, and says to Zion, "Your God reigns." Isaiah 52:7

What about you? Are you waiting for some news? Whether your pregnancy test is positive? A good report from your doctor? Or to know whether the new client accepted your contract? Or you if received the new job? Whatever it may be, I am praying for you will receive good news and it will be soon!

I love all of the scriptures above, but the last one in Isaiah is a gentle reminder to me. What about me? Will I be a bearer of good news today? To tell someone that Jesus Christ loves them and has not forgotten about them? That there is salvation in only One...Jesus Christ? As it has been a reminder to me, also may it be a reminder to you. Be a bearer of Good News, the gospel of Jesus Christ to someone today!

*Thank You* to all who have prayed for Dancing Upon Barren Land Ministry, who have given me counsel and encouraged me during this wait, you know who you are!