Fertility Fact Friday

Fertility Fact Friday

For the next couple of 'Fertility Fact Friday's' I am going to post on Infertility Etiquette. How friends, family and ministry leaders can respond to those who are going through infertility or infant loss. Be sure to check back each Friday during the month of December for some great info!

For Family & Friends

How to Respond

• Recognize infertility exists.
• I am sorry that you’re having to go through so much.
• What can I do for you?
• Teach me about what you are going through so I can better understand.
• Never give up. Keep believing.
• It is okay to cry.

What to Say

• Non-selfish comments.
• Voice interest in medical treatments.
• I’ll be praying for you and your husband.
• I am here for you.
• God can do anything.
• Give a scripture.
• You’ll be a great mom!
• I can’t wait to meet your baby!
• Give a call on Mother’s Day.
• Remind them of God’s promises.
• Don’t say anything, just listen and encourage.

What NOT to Say

• When are you going to have children?
• Just adopt.
• Are you sure you want to try for a child?
• Shouldn’t you wait until ‘this’ happens or ‘that’ happens?
• Quit trying so hard.
• From a medical specialist, “You will never have a baby.”
• Give up. Let it go. It will happen.
• It is not the end of the world if you don’t have kids!
• Just relax.
• You’re too old to have a child.
• Just stop thinking about it so much, then it will happen.
• It will happen when you are least expecting it.
• Just go get drunk.
• There is more to life than just being a “mom”.
• At least you’re an aunt. That’s fun!
• Complain about your own children.
• Questioning the ability to be a mother.

For Other Family Members

• Let up on the questions, “Do you want children?” or “Where are my grandchildren?”
• Do not treat the woman/infertile couple differently.
• Do not test them on how they will react to other children in the family.
• Keep the issue within the family.
• Be their biggest cheerleader.
• Get educated on fertility treatments and terminology.
• Be sensitive that they may not want to share the highs and lows of the journey.
• Ask how they feel, not just ask superficial things.
• Encourage faith. Pray with them.
• Try not to fix the situation.
• At family gatherings: Be aware that the couple may not come around as often.
• After the initial issue is shared within the family, don’t sweep it under the rug. Silence about the matter can be a killer.

For additional infertility etiquette or spiritual inspiration as your traveling down the infertility road, please visit: Dancing Upon Barre Land ~ Spiritual Nourishment for the Infertility Road, www.DancingUponBarrenLand.com.